Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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