Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
