I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
