dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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