I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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