What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
