I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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