Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
