We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
