first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
