Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
