I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize