"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
