I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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