hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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