So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
