she woke up with a sticky ear
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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