how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
