make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
ttyl tear gas
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
