how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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