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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Alive.
So much puke
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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