I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
