it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I have post one night stand depression
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
