moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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