She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
