Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
