if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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