Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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