I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
