i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
