Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
