Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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