i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
cat food counts as protein by the way
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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