Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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