Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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