I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
