Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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