Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I need help removing her.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
