I'm eating all of the evidence.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
