i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
