whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
