Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
