i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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