I heard we made out
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
