you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
