He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
