jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
