my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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