K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
