Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
