quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
