is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
