ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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